My first Day

I still can't believe Hannah is a kindergartener! The second day was so much harder than the first. She lined up with her classmates and walked through the doors without me. She didn't even turn around. I cried. Somehow, 3 1/2 hours went by fairly quickly and Ethan and I got to the school early, waited out front with all the other parents, and heard something so sad. Hannah was crying because she didn't want to leave. I cried. I guess she is more ready for school than I thought!

As she collected her things I started to think about my few first days of schooling. I remember sitting at my desk, a little girl to my right and a boy to my left. The only reason I remember this moment was because it was self recollection of my own personality. My new teacher was handing out pencils, not the boring yellow ones, but the bright sparkily ones with different patterns and designs. She handed a bunch to someone a few seats down and told them to take one and pass the bunch down. Each child looked carefully, made their selection, then passed it along. The little girl next to me did the same thing and handed me what remained. I choose a crazy swirl pattern and pleased with my choice passed the bunch down. I don't remember, here, the exact reason behind it, but I am, still to this day, pretty sure she convinced me that because she got to choose first and she didn't see my choice in the bunch when she looked, that she was entitled to my pencil. Either that or she just stole it. For the sake of making a friend and not wanting to make a scene, my pencil was swapped. I remember the feeling of complete sorrow when I saw the ugliest purple pencil with yellow smiley faces on it.

I was horrified and very sad that it was so ugly that I refused to use it. I did keep it though, almost as a reminder that I had the control and didn't have to let somebody make me feel that way. As I was thinking that I hope Hannah has the courage and strength that I didn't exhibt that day, she was handed a pencil by a friend who was celebrating his birthday (we don't do cupcakes anymore with all the allergies and junk). I was so stunned, almost like I was hit by a Harry Potter spell, as she handed me..... a Pink pencil with yellow Smiley faces all over it!